Home Was Not As It Used To Be

Live life

I didn’t plan traveling – except for work – to any parts of Indonesia this year. Somehow, I decided to buy ticket to Ambon with no specific plan other than marking my ten years of diving. The dives were okay, but I spent the rest of the holiday as a moment to reflect.

One of the things that I realized was I wanted to leave the city but did not want to go home. I wanted to move to another place and create a ‘new’ home. Home, to me, was not as it used to be.

‘Home is where the heart is’; a familiar quote from 1999 movie, Home at The End of The World. The quote was carved permanently in me but I did not know how it would affect my life. It was, on the last day of this holiday, resurfacing and guided me to realize that labeling and missing a place, a building, a bunch of people as ‘home’ would be misleading both to them and to myself.

When I call a place or a house home, I might expect them to remain the same as to when I left them. When I call a bunch of people home, I might expect their attitudes toward me to stay the same. The fact is, as much as I wanted to, they will never remain the same.

Home is a state of feeling; a feeling that follows being alive whenever, wherever with whomever. Home is when living life to the fullest, when living up values, making connections to and sharing meaningful experience with people around. Home appears and will always appear different but the same state of feeling remains.

I don’t miss home. I am creating home.

No Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Thank you 2017!

You gave me lessons to be happy with and continue life what I had; in this case, this carry on and backpack and the basic stuffs inside.

Menjadi Keran

Saya kenal arti investasi jauh sebelum saya fasih apalagi terbiasa mengucapkannnya. Tak begitu jelas kapan saya mulai menghayati kata ini. Bisa jadi ketika saya diminta presentasi ‘mempertanggungjawabkan masa depan’ di depan orangtua saya, selang beberapa hari setelah diwisuda Oktober 1999. Berbekal coretan di selembar kertas A4, kemudian dilanjut dengan slide …

“So, you want to experience death?”

I recently told this to myself whenever I put my wetsuit on or had my goggles dipped in the water. It was funny, though. The one place that I feel home and at the same time terrified the most is water. Even when swimming in a pool filled with people …